Lessons From a Dying Man: Memento Mori
I am a dying man. I have come to accept that.
It is a truth that I cannot escape. I am dying. After the day is done and all activities have been completed or deliberately postponed, as I lay down to sleep, I have no assurance whether I’ll get up the next morning and see the sun, see family and friends, or drink my favorite coffee beverage.
Every day that passes I slowly inch towards that final appointment that none of us will be late for, death. Death awaits all of us. Let me clarify: no I have not been diagnosed with a terminal illness and, as far as I know, I’m relatively healthy. And no, I do not plan on cutting my days short myself. Nonetheless, the truth remains, I am a dying man.
Now here’s the kicker, YOU are dying too.
It’s a simple fact of nature, we are not immortal. From the day of our birth onward, our life is defined by a small “Dash” in-between our birth date and our final date. Accepting the fact that one day I will die and my loved ones will mourn for me, is not depressing, nor am I pessimistic. The fact that I am completely unaware of the moment of my last breath is simply reality.
The last several months we have seen constant reminders of our own mortality. From a global viral pandemic to heartbreaking social injustices caught on video, we have daily reminders about what we try to ignore, that we are only here for a short time. Now, rather than letting that depress you, or somehow discourage you or have you view life as empty, I will convince you of exactly the opposite.
Throughout history and throughout centuries in fact, philosophers, great thinkers, and even modern day motivational gurus have tried, in one way or another, to remind us of our own mortality. None of us are promised tomorrow. Think about this, if you knew that your time is limited on this earth, what decisions would you make? Which relationships would you mend? What job would you take or not take? How would you treat others? What petty arguments would you walk away from? How would you live each day if you accepted your own very real mortality?
It all starts with what we think of ourselves, our environment, and others. That is called MINDSET. In recognizing our eventual death, we may gain the freedom to truly live. It is in fact Mind Medicine.
This is a critical thing to understand: every day we have an opportunity to decide our path; this is one decision that only we can make for ourselves. We have the power to choose whether this expedition called life would lead us into defeat and depression or significance and success.
“Memento Mori,” a latin phrase translated in English, “Remember you must die” isn’t intended to be morbid or promote fear. Rather, it should serve to inspire, motivate, and honestly to humble.
The practice of contemplating our own mortality can be traced back to Socrates in Greece, in 470–399 BC. Socratic philosophy often focused on the importance of appreciating life now acknowledging that we are all existing on borrowed time.
This concept is best known for its application from Ancient Rome. After a Roman military victory, triumphant military generals paraded through the streets to the cheers of the citizens. The ceremonial procession could span the course of a day with the military leader riding in a chariot drawn by horses. The general was idolized, viewed as divine by his troops and the public alike. But riding in the same chariot, standing just behind the military hero, was a slave. The slave’s sole responsibility for the entirety of the procession was to whisper in the general’s ear continuously, “Respice post te. Hominem te esse memento. Memento mori!”
“Look behind. Remember thou art mortal. Remember you must die!” This served to remind the victor at the peak of glory, that nothing lasts forever, that one day his victory, his successes, his life would end. A sobering but very real reminder of the uncertainty of life.
Rather than an attempt to depress the victor, Memento Mori was used to invigorate life, and to create priority and meaning. It was to bring the moment’s experience to its full potential. The principle can be understood better by a more modern term applied by psychologists today, mindfulness.
In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” The emperor considered it imperative to keep death at the forefront of his thoughts. In doing so, the world’s most powerful man managed the obligations of his position guided by living virtuously, living fully, NOW.
As a point of clarity, this notion of our own mortality was not to encourage reckless behavior or miscalculated risk. Rather, just the opposite. Each one was to weigh within his scales the true value of a task, of a notion, or an ideal before its initiation. This served to stop the needs for trivial pursuits and focus on things truly important to one’s value system.
Even in Christian theology, the exercise of meditation on one’s own death is visible. The Old Testament Psalms often admonish the contemplation of the brevity of life. Followers are instructed not to cling to the worldly life too much, but instead to focus on the after-life. In so doing, it focuses our life choices on that which is noble, that which is just, and honorable. In fact, all major religions have a component of the contemplation of one’s own mortality. Only by realizing our temporal nature can we gain real perspective on the value of living, and how we treat each other.
Historic artists often rendered this message in their paintings. A basic memento mori painting would be a portrait of a skull, representing death. This would traditionally be alongside a symbol for life, commonly guttering candles, fruit, or flowers. Lastly, depicted would be a symbol for time (eg, an hour glass) representing the time between birth and death.
These images preserved for the ages served then, as they do today, as a poignant reminder that we can either squander our precious years here on this earth filled with anger, frustration, and defeat, or we can choose to leave behind a living legacy for the betterment of humanity.
That choice is up to each one of us now.
Let each one of us choose wisely.
